developing a church-wide approach to counseling
by danny meyer

“I love being a Pastor; I just don’t like the people in my church.”  Almost every pastor has been in situations where he or she has felt like this. One of the most difficult aspects of pastoral care is providing counseling to those in the congregation who are hurt, broken and wounded.  Some young pastors look at this part of the pastoral call as the most fulfilling.  I have found that for many, with the accumulation of years in the ministry, counseling frequently loses its appeal.

 

At times as pastors we feel overwhelmed by the other responsibilities we carry.  Meeting with a person who is wrestling through deep hurt and brokenness from their past can be seen as an interruption of our weekly routine.  In addition, we often feel ill equipped to help the people who come to us for counseling.  The result can be a resistance to pastoral counseling or even resentment of the people who are in need of counsel.

 

Pastors respond to this tension caused by our business in various ways.  Some pastors side step the entire issue by adopting the “I don’t do counseling!” position.  They simply refer the people who have need for counseling to local Christian Counselors.  Other pastors delegate all counseling to some mercy extender in the congregation who loves to meet with people and help them get emotionally healed.  Both solutions carry with them a set of inherent problems that I will discuss later in this paper.

 

First we must decide if counseling is a legitimate part of the pastoral responsibility. Central to the problem of providing counsel to those who are broken or hurting is that we have separated in our mind “Christian Counseling” from “Discipleship”.  Many think, “Counseling is for the emotional, fragile or needy person.”

 

“Discipleship is for the strong determined committed Christian.”  The truth is counseling is discipleship.  Biblically speaking, counseling is simply coming alongside another person and helping them in the process of sanctification.  That is, becoming fully who Christ called them to be and more fully yielded to His lordship in their lives.

 

 If indeed counseling is simply “disciple making”… it is indeed a part of the pastoral call.  However, it does not need to fall on the Pastor's shoulder alone.

 

Developing a Biblical Philosophy of Counseling

 

Difficulty can arise when we hand off the counseling responsibilities to either the professionals in the community or to a kind hearted member of the congregation.  As pastors, we have the responsibility to teach people how to think and live Biblically.  When we send these people to others we often abdicate our responsibility for training people how to biblically address problems.  Some professionals and lay counselors (even those who advertise themselves as Christian counselors) have unwittingly adopted a very non-biblical approach to dealing with life’s problems.  I have had to deal with counselors who have advocated divorce because of a client’s deep unhappiness.  Is it any wonder that the divorce rate in the church now equals that of the general culture?  We hear people adopt an approach that labels a variety of sins as diseases and calls sin ‘unhealthy behaviors.’  We even hear people blaspheme God by suggesting that a person may have to ‘forgive God’ for allowing the abuse experienced in our past.

 

Poor theology will always result in an impoverished Christian life.  We owe it to our congregations and to our God to provide them a theology of wholeness and emotional healing — a theology that identifies sin as the root cause of our difficulties. [1] This is necessary whether they are our own sins, sins committed against us, or our sinful responses to sins committed against us.  Jeremiah 2:13 states that God’s people have committed two basic sins.  First, they have forsaken God who is the “spring of living water.”  He is our source of life, peace and identity.  When we forsake Him we lose our sense of identity, peace and life.  The second sin is that we have dug wells in search of life.  The wells that we have dug are counterfeit attempts to get what only God can give.  One person digs his well through drugs and alcohol.  We call the folks ‘addicts.’  Another attempts to ‘suck the life’ out of another person.  We call them ‘co-dependant.’  Still another looks for life in their career.  We call them ‘workaholics.’  The Bible uses one word that identifies all of it.  It calls us sinners.

 

Is this just an issue of semantics?  Not at all.  The Bible offers no solution for unhealthy behavioral patterns nor does it use a medical or addiction approach when helping us to gain freedom from sin.  It calls us to repent and to forgive from the heart.  It is only through true biblical forgiveness and repentance that the power of God is released and true inner change can take place.  I am not talking about forgiveness and remorse as the world knows it.  Forgiveness is and repentance is not just an earthly exchange between two individuals.  It is a ‘spiritual transaction’ which must involve Jesus.  Allowing him to release us from the power of those sins done against us and providing for the release of his power to enable us to ‘put off the flesh.’  When we hand off the counseling to another without maintaining oversight as to the philosophy and theology which under-girds that counsel, we often only compound the problems the person is dealing with.  We also invite a non biblical world view into our churches. 

 

Many approaches that well intended professional and lay counselors use today encourages unhealthy introspection.  They fail to call the person to personal responsibility and Christian service.  In addition, some counselors do not help the person learn to draw near to the Lord.  Hurting people must learn to cooperate with His power.  The goal of counseling should help the person address the issues at hand as well as teach and train them in the biblical approach to deal with their future issues.  “Give them a fish and they will eat for a day… teach them to fish and they will eat for a lifetime.” 

 

Many Vineyard Churches have used the Gospel of Wholeness Seminar as a foundational teaching for Peer Counseling Ministries in their churches. For more information about the Gospel of Wholeness contact Danny at Vineyard Church of Delaware County.

 

Developing a Pastoral Strategy

 

 I believe that the functions of counseling are to be three-fold.  First, we educate Christians concerning truth.  Second, we train Christians to identify root issues so they can forgive from the heart and repent.  Finally, we help Christians connect with Jesus, who is the source of living water.  It is not only wise and prudent but it is a biblically imperative that pastors take the responsibility to insure that there is a way in which their congregation can receive biblical counseling.  This is true regardless of whether or not you will be the one who provides it.

 

Some pastors have found it helpful to build a good relationship with Christian counselors in the community.  In that way pastors are able to refer people to professional counselors with some degree of confidence.  There are drawbacks to this approach.  Counseling is at its core extending pastoral care.  Often times the professional counselors are not comfortable seeing themselves as representatives of the church.  They may identify themselves as advocates of their clients.  This can lead to conflicts with the church over issues such as divorce or sins that may necessitate church discipline.  Many pastors end up feeling very much out of the loop and at the mercy of professional counselors who do not want to have any accountability from the local church.  Beyond this concern, wholeness and emotional healing best takes place in a ‘healing environment.’  Learning to serve, be accountable, function in the gifts as one integrates with the Body of Christ provides the optimum environment for healing to occur.  A final problem in handing the counseling over to professionals is cost.  Many people cannot afford to pay the high cost for professional individual or marriage therapy and do not have the convenience of insurance.  

 

Sometimes pastors have handed over counseling to a mercy extender in their congregation who enjoys helping those who are hurting.  It may seem like a great relief to have someone who is willing to deal with the hurting people in your congregation.  Again, we need to remind ourselves that counseling is a portion of the pastoral call.  We must see to it that the counseling that occurs in our church is rooted in sound Biblical theology, accountable to the authority in the church and avoids hyper-introspection.

 

What is a workable answer?  First, as pastors we must take responsibility to insure that the counsel one receives either in our church or through those we refer is Biblically sound, accountable to the leaders, and functions as an extension of the churches pastoral care.  Second, as pastors we must have a theology of wholeness that addresses the process of emotional healing.  Third, begin to identify, train, recruit, deploy and monitor individuals who you know are biblically sound, have your values, are loyal and committed to your leadership and are competent to counsel.  Equip your small group leaders to function as the churches first line of pastoral care, and don’t undermine them.  In other words, train your leaders to care for and counsel the people in their groups, and then let them do it.  If you feel that you lack the ability to do this yourself then consider contacting a church that has a healthy Peer Counseling Ministry and solicit their help in getting a ministry of this kind established.

 

Conclusion

 

As tempting as it may be to hand the counseling over to the ‘experts,’ or to let it fall to who-so-ever is willing to pick it up…. the results will not be to your liking both from a practical and a biblical prospective.  Pastors can not abdicate their responsibility to shepherd their sheep in their charge.  As we delegate this responsibility to others, we are still accountable to insure that the fruit and the approach will be good both in the short term as well as on into the future.  

Some churches have developed the following approach for providing counseling.  There are five ways that people can get counseling.  They are Small Group Leaders, Peer Counseling, Life Support Groups, Professional Counseling and finally, Pastoral Counseling.

 

Small Groups

 

The foundation of our pastoral care is our Women’s, Men’s and Home Groups.  Because of this, we are very careful not to sabotage our small groups by circumventing the pastoral role of the small group leaders by directing the person to counseling through some other means.  When someone calls the Church in need of pastoral care or counseling they are asked if they are members of a small group. If they are not, it is explained that those groups are the primary place for pastoral care and are then helped to find a group that would suit their purposes. 

 

Our Small Group leaders understand that they are the first line of pastoral care in our church. We would expect that they would be willing to meet with any group leader at least one or two times.

Peer Counseling

 

When a small group leader determines that the issues a person wants to deal with is either beyond their expertise of will involve a commitment of ongoing counseling beyond one or two appointments they are welcome to direct the person to our peer counseling ministry.  Our peer counselors are trained and equipped to provide counseling for members in the church for three to five months.  They go through a comprehensive training initially and then get ongoing oversight and continuing training monthly.

Life Support Groups

 

Throughout the year we offer a variety of Life Support Groups that provide free help to our members. These groups are short term groups, lasting between six to twelve weeks. They address issues such as Building Healthy Relationships, Finding our Identity in Christ, Dealing with Past Abuse, Divorce Recovery, Intimacy in Marriage and a host of other topics.  These groups are led by either professional counselors or lay counselors.  Philosophically, they are always short term groups. I believe that groups that go on indefinitely where people with similar problems continue to meet month after month and year after year tend to become ingrown and unhealthy.

 

Professional Counseling

 

At times it is clear that a person is in need of long term counseling or that the nature of their problems warrants a trained professional counselor.   In those cases we refer to professional Christian counselors who we have developed good relationships with.  We are fortunate in having a counseling center as an extension ministry in our church.  We also have a list of counselors that we maintain strong relationships with in the community.

 

Pastoral Counseling

 

Of course there are always situations that call for pastoral counseling.  Because the pastor’s primary responsibility is to train and equip, I believe that the pastors ought not to get involved in long term counseling. However, dealing with very short term issues or situations that may result in church discipline would be some examples where it would be appropriate to have hands on involvement with counseling.

 

There are many ways to provide for the counseling needs in your church.  What I have described is one way that has worked well for many churches.

For more information or discussion concerning Pastoral Care and Counseling in a church context feel free to contact Danny Meyer at (740) 965-8888

 

[1] I recognize that there are issues of demonic and physiological origin.  Most demonic problems are the results of doors opened by our sin or sins committed against us.  I am not addressing physiologically rooted problems in this paper other than recognizing that they can exist.